Two fine Irishmen were eager for a night of boozing but had no cash to spare. Between the two they could only raise a wee dollar (of the EU type, to be sure).

Said Patty to Brian, “Give me that dollar, I have a plan.” And so Patty walked into the butcher shop and out with an Irish sausage.
“Patty, you’re daft! You’ve spent out last coin on a banger? What’s that sausage going to help?”

“Follow me,” said Patty.

And into a pub they walked. Patty ordered a round of whiskey and Guiness. “Now you’ve done it Pat! We’ve haven’t the money for this. We’ll be arrested!”

“Never fret, just drop this sausage down your trousers and turn around.”

When the boys finished their drinks, Pat got on his knees and opened Brian’s zipper and began to “perform” on the sausage.

Within in minutes they were tossed out before they could pay for their drinks!
They tried it in one place after the other, and in each and every pub they drank for free.

At the tenth pub Patty said, “That’s enough for me! My knees are aching and I’m so very drunk.”

Brian said, “You think you’re bad? I’m so drunk I can’t even remember which pub it was that I lost that sausage.”